Friendship is a beautiful thing. A bond beyond a simple love and a connection as great as family. However, times move forward, people change, and the lines that once linked even the best of friends can snap at the hands of the fatal blade we call life.

The loss of a friend is a reality a lot of people have to face. As life moves on, people do change, and that includes their relationships as well. Though it hurts to say, best friends aren’t always forever.

All my closest friends have been ones I’ve met in middle school and high school (expect one who moved away after kindergarten and moved back for high school). All my so-called best friends from my youngest of memories suddenly disappeared.

Of course we still like each other’s photos on Instagram, see each other walking in the halls, come across their contact name on our phones every now and then, but it isn’t the same.

When I was in 3rd grade I was in the popular crowd. The girls everyone wanted to hangout with. The cool kids. I was considered one of them. I would get invited to their parties and get to sit with them at lunch. Those days were the youthful ones, and short lived. I can look back at those times and laugh, because if I ever tried to talk to those girls nowadays I would get confused looks and trash talk murmurs.

In elementary school, I also had a best friend who ended up going to a different school than me for middle school. As did many other of my friends. This break of not seeing each other everyday really took a toll on our friendship. We tried to keep close. Texting everyday turned slowly into the meet up every so often, until the relationship became so broken I could no longer consider her my best friend any more.

Then there was the let down of the century. A friend telling you that you couldn’t be friends anymore. It took a huge emotional toll on me because I kept feeling like I was doing something wrong, that I was some toxic friend who was causing such a burden on theis person for so long. It took almost a year to realize that was not true. In fact it took until she met up with me one day after school to talk. She told me what was really going on and why she couldn’t deal with that friendship.  As hard as it was to understand I somehow did, because I’d known her so long and know what she had to go through. I knew that no matter what, the hardest discions she had to make were to benefit her happiness and well being. As long as she was happy, then I was happy.

But the real thought that sparked this babbling was the idea that I can still remember this all. I remember all these wonderful moments I had with their people and they are still wonderful. Even if I don’t speak to them anymore, or they couldn’t care less about my existence, the memories we share will always stay beautiful and joyful and pure. They are memories that will follow me throughout life and have shaped me as a person. I believe that is what friendship is about. It’s not how long the forever lasted, it’s about how much of that forever lives on in your heart.

 

Thanks for reading my endless rambles,

Remember to cherish your friends even if forever might not be forever.

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