Friendship is a beautiful thing. A bond beyond a simple love and a connection as great as family. However, times move forward, people change, and the lines that once linked even the best of friends can snap at the hands of the fatal blade we call life.
My sister had a nightmare recently and this kinda just blarfed out of me after hearing what she told me. I don’t know why, it just did. No ones dying, just a dream and a bucket of fear.
I used to think that life lasted forever.
You learn things the hard way,
the way most do.
It stares you right in the face and you have to try your best not to break,
but truth hurts.
Truth is what kills.
Truth is what ends the line.
It cuts everyone’s ropes in the end.
It leaves you with only the truth.
She is gone.
They say they tried their best.
I know they did,
but best is not enough.
Best won’t stop death.
We all saw it coming.
I knew they did too.
I saw it in their eyes,
glassy and filled with emptiness.
Their words changed too.
Soon became maybe became hope became miracle.
Beneath it all laid the truth,
They won’t tell you that thought,
they don’t want you to worry.
You are young, frail and easily afraid
They aren’t wrong,
but you pick up on the clues
It’s easy to see what’s happening when day after day they come home alone,
without her by their side.
When the visits to the hospital become slimmer
and the balloons that once filled their room have all deflated.
They would lie to keep me safe,
to keep me happy,
but life doesn’t lie.
It tells you the truth,
and the hardest truth is told,
when she comes home dead.
My biggest fear is vulnerability.
As a blog writer, this might come as a huge surprise-especially since my entire blog is literally my feelings- but I cannot stand the idea of not being in control.
I never really understood this fear until recently. I always thought I was just having weird teenage dilemmas, that I was only questioning myself because that’s what kids my age do, but I don’t think that’s the full story. Taking a step back, I can trace a certain pattern, an imbalance in my life that is driven by none other than fear. Continue reading “I’m scared of being vulnerable”
Love to be loved
Give yourself away, just to be taken back
Throw your heart in the abyss
Wait for it to return
It never does
The emptiness inside you starts to sink in
Heartless and broken you are alone
With a hole in your chest
You are battered
Suddenly a light shines from the dark canyon below
A familiar face heals the scars in your soul
In their safe hand lies one thing
Love always finds it’s way back
It’s quite difficult to keep moving forward when life gets tough, especially when you have no drive to do so. As simple as it would be to give you guys tips on how to regain motivation, I, being the pessimistic person I am, will be listing off how I easily loose motivation. Hopefully these steps will help you remember what not to do when you have a project due the very next day.
It’s days like these. When I’m alone in my house. Homework is still packed away, undone. Room is still a mess and food has yet to be made.
I wonder on days like these, if I were to watch myself as if I were in a reality show, what would I think?